Intimate String
A few years ago I met with some
special women in my inner circle and discussed the possibility of starting a
not for profit organization for women. The concept of this organization was to
uplift, inspire and empower women socially, economically and politically (especially
women of color). In a previous post I mentioned a “wise
friend”, she was present at that meeting. When we began to discuss the topic of the
relationship between mothers and their children (in her infinite wisdom) she
stated “there is such an intimate string
between mothers and their children”. We were intrigued. She went on to say that
after a child is born the connection much like the umbilical cord is not
severed. The bond between mother and child is so strong that at times mothers
don’t realize they cripple their children when they don’t require or allow them
to become or expand their own self-sufficiency.
Recently I reflected on this very point with regards to my own
children. Of course being the mother of
four totally different individuals, I had to recognize how my role as mom
played into their growth, knowledge, understanding of self and value. I had to check to see whether or not I was
corrupting my “intimate string” by not being a ‘nagging Mom” (which is
something I am definitely not J) or enforcing my own dreams on them because it
had some connection to who I was in years gone by or even if I was lovin’ them
up too much (if that’s possible). I had to revisit my childhood and understand
what things at different stages of my life I was seeking and how I could ensure
that my own children had no lack in those particular areas. After my historic
trip down memory lane, I realized that I had to be a blabber mouth. I had to talk about things that were taboo
both to my sons and daughters. I had to impress upon them morals of kindness,
sensitivity and compassion. I had to
stress the importance of valuing who you are and being a blessing to people.
As mothers it is our role to
uplift, inspire and empower ourselves and the intimate string between us and
our children. God gives us the wisdom to know (the "mother-wit") even though raising them does not come with an instruction manual. It’s a challenge to ensure
that we are making the right decisions but when we see that our children have
their own “Aha moments” about things we have shared we recognize that it was
all worth it.
High-five your children
today…let them know you recognize them in all their cute, sometimes obnoxious
and loving ways. Then give yourself a high five (It’s not silly, I do it all
the time J) to
recognize yourself for being an awesome Mom, auntie, grandma, cousin (Just
high-five yourself for being you!).
Lovin’ you is easy,
J