Pretty Girl

Hi there,

 

Amazing...things from your past can have a positive affect on your present. Hmmm....I like the way that sounds. Maybe I will start a phrase section on this blog called Dynamic thoughts of the day!!  Keep a look out for that...ok?

I digress....

I have for many years had a grudge against my brother. I know, I know but, I thought I had a legitimate excuse. For years everything around me told me that my brown skin, kinky hair and a big back side was unpretty but my brothers light skin and hazel eyes was more than acceptable.  My parents always told me that I was beautiful so there will be no therapy sessions bashing my parents going on here or anywhere for that matter.  They ensured that I was in empowering circles of girls both brown and not so brown so that I could get a good social mixture and be a well rounded member of society. The problem was many of the girls that looked like me felt the same way I did. Brown and unpretty.

So, I went on in life not feeling very pretty or comfortable in my own skin. From rockin' my mini afro to wearing braid extensions, I felt ugly and could not get past it for years. (And by the way, the cat calls on the sidewalk did not help my esteem either). I thought when would I feel pretty? When would I feel like I did not have to be in line with what society says about who I am and how I should look? When would I be comfortable to wear my braids if I chose to or rock that all natural look?

Well I must say, learning to love yourself is truly a journey.  I have developed a much needed love of me and it was not an easy road. But thank God, I've been changed (I won't start singing or maybe I will...stay tuned...) You wanna know what helped my transition?  My girls. My daughters, the ladies of my life. I realized that I had to become the woman I wanted them to see. I had to force myself to look inside and find the girl I was, understand why she felt the way she did and embrace all that made her special. I had to love that girl because if I didn't how could I tell my girls to love themselves lookin' all fabulous like their mama (BIG CHEESY GRIN WOULD GO HERE! J).

Inner love, outer strength (Another one of those dynamic thoughts...I'm on a role here...J). Embrace who you are. Love that chocolate, mocha, caramel, almond skin, that beautiful thick hair, those full lips, hips and thighs. Revel in it! And while your lovin' on you your showing another brownie... that fabulous comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Love on a brown girl today!

Lovin' you is easy,

  

J  

 

Outside the box

Hey everybody,

I know...its been a minute.....ya da, ya da, ya da!!  :)

I remember being in elementary school and a friend of mine had some fly platform shoes (ok....and what? you liked them back in the day too!!) and I wanted to wear them so bad.  I told myself I would only ask her twice because three times would be begging and a fly girl would never beg (grade school logic I still use today).  She told me that I could borrow them not knowing that her foot was at least a half size smaller than mine. I took the shoes home, put those bad boys on and I just knew that I was the flyest of the fly. I mean I was BOSS (as my dad use to say in his Don Cornelius cool way). I set out my clothes for the next day lovin' on my borrowed platforms and my burnt orange Willie Smith outfit (as you can see I don’t mind dating myself...J).

I woke up overly excited about rollin’ in my ensemble. I got dressed, checked myself in the mirror and started on my way. The first block from my house I was chillin', in a little pain but nothing a fly girl couldn't handle – shoot beauty is pain, right? By the fourth block I felt like I was in some medieval torture chamber with laryngitis so I couldn’t scream for help. So you know the walk to school was brutal. When I got there I didn’t even care about the compliments, all I can remember doing was running to the back of the class where I had some slippers hidden that I happily put on and in an instant gave my friend back her platforms with a smile. I told her they didn’t work with my outfit (the color was a little off….yeah right!).

Why do we try to fit ourselves in boxes that we don't belong and why do we fear stepping outside of the box to embrace who we really are? I knew I could not fit those shoes but because everyone would think they were fly I put them on without regard for myself. If I could encourage one girl who like me had self-doubt allowing fear to encapsulate me and keep me in a box, I would say walk in your true self and if that means you have to say no to things that don't impress your spirit or uplift your soul then so be it. Let the true you shine and how awesome a gift that would be to yourself. Oh, yes...you do deserve to gift yourself. SMILE!

I will leave you with this....hurting feet can only take short walks but comfortable feet can take you farther than you could ever imagine.

Lovin' you is easy, just do it!

Take good care,

  

J

Decisions

We all have them... We have to figure out if this school is right for my child, is this the right job, this career, this home,  this mate.  We are always faced with decisions.  What is your thought process?  Do you write down the pros and cons and when you have more pros then cons you move forward? Do you talk to loved ones or friends to help you come to a decision or do you use their input to formulate your own answer? 


We try not to make rash decisions by thinking them out, making a plan and waiting for just the right moment in time but before you blink your eye the clock has ticked and time is of the essence with your answer. And forget about patience...who came up with that word? It's a word that makes you quiver. Your outer self  may be saying I have to have patience and wait but you know your insides are saying THE HECK WITH THAT I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!!

Choosing to move forward is not a bad thing.  Change brings out the best in us.  Growth allows us to change into the person we are purposed to be. Give your self a pat on the back when you are able to step back, assess the situation and knowing that your moving forward is done with you in mind, you are making the right choice.  You deserve to be ok with your decision and it's ok if it does not turn out the way you had hoped. Lessons learned from our decisions help to shape who we are. 

Allow your decisions to help shape you but make sure they include you.  



Lovin' you is easy,


J